Well, I'm a patent attorney, and I'm not rude. In fact, the ones on this Forum seem to be polite and patient. So, I'm confused and perhaps you could clarify?
You say that you have met some rude agents and attorneys "here". Do you mean this Forum? Your post shows you've only posted once on this Forum, so I'm not sure what you mean.
As for your question about charges, it's absolutely a proper question. Be aware, however, it varies, and sometimes quite a bit. But, in general, $5,000 to 10,000 covers probably 90 percent of all filings. Bio and computer-based tend to be at the high end, or higher. Mechanical, depending upon the complexity of the technology, tend to be near the lower end.
Being passed from one office to another does not sound like any patent practitioner's office I know. And, none of the patent practitioners I know even want your invention in their office, at least initially, and especially if it's "bigger than a breadbox".
Are you speaking with US government agencies?? Which ones? I know of no program where the US government would help pay the cost of acquiring a patent. Work done with government funding may give rights to the technology to the government, but I've not seen the government pay for any patent prosecution. And, I've worked in the industry/government field for over five years.
In sum, there are plenty of private practice patent attorneys willing to talk with you. They will listen patiently, give you an estimate of the cost (some will do the work for a fixed fee, so you have some certainty regarding the cost), and not require you bring your invention (although some practitioners, myself included, like to "touch and feel" an invention if it's practical to do so, but it's not necessary). In fact, it's possible to conduct the entire transaction and get an application on file without ever sitting down face-to-face.