Since more than 6 months have passed since the final office action on 11/02/2009 and neither and RCE nor an appeal was filed, I thought the application is abandoned and the examiner can't do anything about it.
I say Yes, the above is a true statement.
The only other factor would be if your Petition for Withdrawal of Finality was granted before the 6-month date. That is, I believe a Granted petition would also stop the 6-month clock.
I'm assuming your petition is not yet decided.
Is it up to the discretion of the examiner to hold off abandonment even beyond 6
months from the final office action.
I say Absolutely not. Nobody trumps the statute.
It may be true that the Examiner is the one that takes some action a PTO database which triggers a mailing of Notice of Abandonment. And that if he doesn't do this, no Notice will go out, and he might indeed send out another OA.
None of that will change the fact that your app really did go abandoned as of the 6 month date. If you assert the patent, this will come to light.