1. Write up the idea in "patent" speak such that I can then hire a US examiner.
Do you mean a patent practitioner (attorney/agent)? You don't hire an examiner here; they work for the government.
Second, there is no "patent speak". We use English (American English). Just be extremely literal. Many people will try to misinterpret what you mean.
2. Get a rough draft together and let a PA decide the best course of action.
The best course of action is always a business decision to be decided by the client. A patent attorney/agent can only give you a sense of costs and likelihoods of success. The cost/benefit analysis is the client's job.
3. Will a PA help me refine things easily.
Not sure what you mean. A patent practitioner will take whatever you produce and do their best to make a legit patent application out of it.
4. I'm UK based but want a US patent first and then european, ideally, if I have a defendable idea.
Noted.
IS there any guide out there to building a software patent. is it me or am I finding it hard to easily find prior art. This is a private project so private money and I'd like to try to keep the budget in check.
I'm not aware of any guides. Each case is unique (luckily for us professionals!). The Patent Office here is not quite on top of searching software art, so I'm not surprised you're finding searching prior art challenging. IEEE is a good place to look. Any technical publications re software are good places to look.
Regards.