Here are my thoughts about the may/can issue. As other posters have said, I think "may" means "is permitted to, but not required" and "can" means "capable of." I don't see a problem using either of these terms with these meanings in mind. I will limit my comment to the use of "may" since few seem to dispute the use of "can."
Let's suppose a patent drafter is describing element A in the specification. Element A includes element B and the inventor has told the drafter that some embodiments of element B are X, Y, and Z. The drafter is considering including one of the following statements in the specification:
"Element A includes element B."
"Element A includes element B, which is an X, Y, or Z."
"Element A includes element B, which may be an X, Y, or Z."
The first statement omits any mention of X, Y, or Z, which is obviously not preferred (Edit: I am operating under the assumption that X, Y, and Z are not mentioned elsewhere). The second statement provides support for X, Y, and Z, but raises the question whether element B is limited to only X, Y, and Z. The third statement uses "may" to remove the question inherent in the second statement and make it clear that element B is not limited to only X, Y, and Z. If may was removed and its meaning substituted in its place, the third statement would read "Element A includes element B, which is permitted to, but not required to be an X, Y, or Z." This is similar to non-limiting language that many practitioners already use. I can't see why using "may" to mean the same thing is a problem.
There are other ways to say exactly the same thing without using "may." However, I can't see any reason to condemn one practitioner's choice to use "may" instead of "including, but not limited to" or some equivalent phrase when the meaning is very much the same. This just seems to be a matter of style about which every practitioner has an opinion (and is certain he/she is correct).
As for "can," it doesn't mean the same thing as "may." To illustrate this, I have replaced "may" in the third statement above with "can."
"Element A includes element B, which can be an X, Y, or Z."
This now means that element B is "capable of" being an X, Y, or Z. That's fine, but what about the question whether B is limited to only X, Y, and Z? I don't think the use of "can" addresses this issue. Stating that element B is capable of being X, Y, or Z, does not explicitly state anything about whether element B includes (or is capable of being) something else. You can argue that "can" implicitly means that element B can be something else, but the same thing can be said when "is" is used (e.g., element A includes, element B, which is an X, Y, or Z. In contrast, the term "may" answers the question in a broad way.
I agree with Jim that practitioners who use "may" in every sentence create patents that are hard to read. I don't think the term itself should be blamed since the same could be said for patents that excessively use other weasel words and phrases.