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   Review my Cover Letter, Please?
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   Author  Topic: Review my Cover Letter, Please?  (Read 10804 times)
PP
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Review my Cover Letter, Please?
« on: Jan 10th, 2007, 9:46pm »
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Hi guys, I have a cover letter for the USPTO student program... perhaps you can give your opinion on it? I am really determined to get a position, so I need some professional advice from you guys Smiley Please, be harsh, if need be.
 
Here it is (I have it formatted all nice in a word document, but I'll just paste the important part of the cover letter -- the actual paragraphs). It starts below the dashed lines.
 
-----------
 
U.S. Patent and Trademark Office
Mail Stop 171
P.O. Box 1450
Alexandria, VA 22313
 
Dear Student Employment Coordinator:
 
 In response to the available student programs at the USPTO, I would to be considered for a challenging summer position to strengthen my knowledge of the law, the legal system, and most importantly, the patent system.  
 
 I will be graduating in May of 2009 from Binghamton University with a Bachelors of Science in Computer Engineering. I have developed an interest in intellectual property matters, and I would like to utilize my strong technical background to practice patent and trademark law.
 
 While completing my course of study, I have actively explored and acquired the knowledge and skills that are essential in the patent law field. I have read over a dozen books on different aspects of intellectual property law to further my understanding of the patent system, as well as copyright and trademark law.. Furthermore, I strongly believe I possess the investigative, research, and analytical skills to successfully examine patents dealing with software/hardware design, physics, electrical/electronic designs, and biotechnology.
 
 Before applying to law school in a few years, I wish to fine tune my knowledge of the patent system, as well to gain a greater understanding and sense of career focus and special interests in intellectual property law. I believe the invaluable experience that I will receive while being employed at the USPTO will help me accomplish my future career goals.
 
 I have enclosed my resume, and look forward to an opportunity to discuss my candidacy for the position. Thank you for your time and consideration.
 
Sincerely,
 
My Name
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guest47
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Re: Review my Cover Letter, Please?
« Reply #1 on: Jan 11th, 2007, 8:09am »
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on Jan 10th, 2007, 9:46pm, PP wrote:

 Before applying to law school in a few years, I wish to fine tune my knowledge of the patent system, as well to gain a greater understanding and sense of career focus and special interests in intellectual property law. I believe the invaluable experience that I will receive while being employed at the USPTO will help me accomplish my future career goals.

 
It sounds like you're just using USPTO as a stepping stone.  I don't think they'll appreciate that.  Why not further stress what you can do for them, and leave out what will be viewed as your own selfish reasons?
 
Just a thought.
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forest
Junior Member
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Posts: 59
Re: Review my Cover Letter, Please?
« Reply #2 on: Jan 11th, 2007, 9:01am »
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I second what guest47 wrote. You aren't likely to gain substantial legal knowledge from a Summer stint in the PTO, so sell yourself and focus less on how the experience will help your future (b/c the way you laid it out, it won't help theirs). Even if you plan on going to law school directly after your undegrad, sell it like being a patent examiner right out of Binghampton would be a dream come true, even if it is B.S. They'll never know that.
 
Also, you need to check for typos. First line reads "...I would to be considered..." Missing a word there. Two periods after "copyright and trademark law" in para. three. I saw that from a qucik once over. I am sure you plan on re-reading before sending, but you should be sure to eradicate all of these minor problems before passing it on.  
 
Good Luck!
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"Science is a wonderful thing if one does not have to earn one's living at it." ~Albert Einstein
PP
Guest
Re: Review my Cover Letter, Please?
« Reply #3 on: Jan 11th, 2007, 9:40am »
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You guys are right, thanks for the help so far. I can understand your viewpoint, I'll change that.
 
As for the typos, I'll fix them right now.
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PP
Guest
Re: Review my Cover Letter, Please?
« Reply #4 on: Jan 11th, 2007, 10:38am »
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How does that look? I actually was considering going to law school then becoming a patent examiner, though I'm heavily leaning on becoming one right after my BS.
 
Well, here's my slightly updated CL. I hope I've conveyed it a little better than before.
 
Please let me know what you think, any opinions would be helpful! Smiley
 
--
 
Dear Student Employment Coordinator:
 
 In response to the available student programs at the USPTO, I would like to be considered for a challenging summer position to strengthen my knowledge of copyright, trademark and patent law.
 
 I will be graduating in May of 2009 from Binghamton University with a Bachelors of Science in Computer Engineering. I have developed an interest in intellectual property matters, and I would like to utilize my comprehensive knowledge of engineering design, mathematics, and physics while being employed as a student intern.
 
 During my course of study, I have actively explored and acquired the knowledge and skills that are essential in the patent law field. I have read over a dozen books on different aspects of intellectual property law to further my understanding of the patent system, as well as copyright and trademark law. Furthermore, I strongly believe I possess the investigative, research, and analytical skills to successfully examine patents dealing with software/hardware design, physics, electrical/electronic designs, and biotechnology with the utmost precision.
 
 Additionally, I wish to fine tune my knowledge of the patent system for the patent bar exam, as well to gain a greater understanding and sense of career focus as a patent examiner. My experiences, exceptional skill base, and enthusiasm has prepared me to meet the demands the USPTO has to offer, and I am anxious to apply my strengths and talents. I strongly believe I can offer excellent judgment in the patent decision process, while providing a sound sense of dedication, passion, and preciseness.
 
 I have enclosed my resume, and look forward to an opportunity to discuss my candidacy for the position. Thank you for your time and consideration.
 
Sincerely,
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